Thursday, 26 March 2009

Wallpaper Prince and L4D. And Duran Duran.

I'm shouting at Sam because he's playing Left 4 Dead instead of the website. But at least he's teaching Zoey a lesson.

I'm shouting at Tom because he's making me do this. At least... Erm... I'm awesome. "Your old mans a dab hand with a guitar m'boy!"

I just died and Sam's the only one left alive. And there's a Tank. And we're on advanced. We're all dead now.

He hit a car at me! What was I supposed to do! He's so strong...

Anyway, here's a video. It's about wallpaper and dragons.

Wallpaper Prince from Goshdarn on Vimeo.

Now I'm going to talk a bit about Duran Duran.

Duran Duran are an English music group from Birmingham, United Kingdom. They were one of the most commercially successful of the 1980s bands and a leading band in the MTV-driven 'Second British Invasion' of the United States. Since the 1980s they have placed 14 in the Top 10 of the UK Singles Chart and 21 in the Billboard Hot 100 and have sold more than 70 million records. For more information on Duran Duran, visit your local library, or Wikipedia.

My favourite Duran Duran song is either 'The Wild Boys' or 'Girls on Film'. But it's a very close call.

Sam doesn't like Duran Duran. He must be gay.


Monday, 23 March 2009

Gangsta Rap Battle

Sam's on speakerphone to me right now, and we're going to engage in a super-cool rap battle for y'all.

I'm a hippety hop,
Won't stop 'til I drop,
Badass kinda dude,
And I am super rude,
So prepare to be nanged,
Cuz here come my gang,
We're gonna pwn you,
There's nuffin yous can do!

You know I don't stand for your bizzle,
Because I'm the rizzle nizzle fizzle,
I like to play with the dawgs,
Because they don't judge me for who I am,
My jeans aren't too tight,
To contain all my might,
You're gonna get beat-down,
When I'm around town.

I'll pop a cap in your face!

I'll get you with a large mace!
I'll beat you in a game of Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yes, you're probably correct because I've never played it.

Sam just realised that we could turn this into a video! It'd be awesome!

Thanks for listening, peace out dawgs!


Friday, 20 March 2009

I have a problem... The Game.

I was going to wait a little longer to write this entry, because you may not have read the last one or watched the video, but I couldn't wait - I have a burning problem.

It's obvious to me that Goshdarn viewers are intelligent and somewhat witty individuals, otherwise why would they endure such hilarity? For fun you say? I don't think so...

Anyway, as some of you may know, there is an epidemic sweeping the nation, and as far as I know, the world. This epidemic is in the form of a game. The Game. For those of you who are unaware of The Game, let me summarise the rules for you:

1. If you think about The Game, you lose The Game.
2. If you lose The Game, you have to shout it out.
3. If somebody else loses The Game and tells you, you too have lost The Game.
4. Although this doesn't always apply, you have an hour period in which thinking of The Game doesn't make you lose. This is only after you have just lost The Game. Consider it to be a 'respawn time'.
5. You can never win The Game.

Now, at school, I have a varying amount of 'cool teachers', and one of the more cool ones has recently learnt of the existence of The Game. This was probably the biggest tragedy to befall the entire world.

In a lesson on Tuesday, he scrolled down the board, and there it was, in big chunky board-marker letters... 'THE GAME'. This caused everybody in the classroom to lose The Game. Me and a friend then decided to have our vengeance, and put a note saying 'The Game. Love Tom and Jake' in his office, where he would find it. However, he was warned of this, and as a result didn't lose. The score is now 4-1 to him, and he now has an accomplice in the form of my old English teacher.

This is where you guys come in. We need your help to foil his evil schemes. If you can come up with an original (and preferably legal) way of getting our score up, it will be very greatly appreciated. The only trick that has worked is writing it on our shoes then putting our feet up during the lesson. If you think you guys can top that, please let me know!

Sorry if I'm only just now bringing The Game to your attention.


Thursday, 19 March 2009

Bathroom Break and Series 2 News!

So here I am, at my desk, eating a McVitie's Penguin, and wondering to myself, what's so awesome about Thursdays? Then I remember... New Goshdarn videos!

Bathroom Break from Goshdarn on Vimeo.

Now, I know we're only three videos in to Series 1, but I've got some exciting news about the next series.

Yesterday I got a new Sony Handycam. I won't bore you with the technical mumbo-jumbo (mostly because I don't understand it myself) but I will tell you this one thing...

Sony Handycams, or at least the one I have, are HD. This means that as of Series 2, Goshdarn videos will be filmed in HD. Now, whether or not they are uploaded to here or Vimeo or YouTube or what-have-you is a different matter, but it's definitely going to be utilized to the full extent that it can be. We've unfortunately done all the videos for Series 1, so there won't be any HD Goshdarn videos for now, but hopefully Series 2 will see a new dawn, and maybe even before that - Goshdarn's birthday is the 15th of April, so there's sure to be a new video then.

That's about it though. Oh, but before I forget...

What's a penguin's favourite Aunt?


According to McVitie's, that's the quality of humour that's acceptable these days. Shocking.


Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Science Coursework

Argh! I can't do it!

Basically, at school we have to write a 2000 word essay on a particular science-y subject. I chose "Who is to Blame For Obesity". After 1121 words, I have nothing left to say. And it's due in on Friday. On the same day as a Maths exam.

I know it shouldn't be particularly hard, but still... I can't do it...
Aw, phooey.


Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Our Vimeo Homepage

This will lead you to our newly-done profile page on Vimeo - the site where we have started hosting our videos, as well as YouTube.

I've just spent the last hour or so on the site editting our page and watching some videos. It wasn't until earlier that I realised that the company also does Collegehumor videos (a personal favourite YouTube channel of mine) and this inspired me to put a little more effort into our Vimeo account, and so here I am!

So if you like what you see, make an account (it only takes a second!) and subscribe to us. Don't tell anybody this, but I think Vimeo is much better than YouTube. But YouTube gets more exposure, so it's a difficult choice to make. Maybe when we feel that we're on our feet we'll ditch YouTube. They've become kinda rubbish since they were bought out by Google anyway...

Much love to all and thanks for the support with the new video!


Friday, 13 March 2009

Cleansing Wipes and The One Word Game...

Tom! I tried that "never fail" kisssing technique! It didn't work. All I got was a slap in the face and a knife in the guts.... Damn, I'm good.

Here's a new video!

Cleansing Wipes from Goshdarn on Vimeo.

We've decided to write some more stuff. Well, I have. Tom. It's me writing at the moment. Okay... Ideas...

Let's justify the lateness of this video. Not that anybody noticed, but this video was supposed to be on the website yesterday (Thursday). But due to my [insert appropriate insults here] Interweb connection, and Sam's hectic extra-curricular schedule, it had to be pushed back. So there. But it'll be on YouTube tomorrow.

And now for a one word story! Huzzah! (Started with Sam, and then Tom, and yaddah yaddah yaddah.)

Once ... there ... was ... no ... narwhals ... and ... narwhals ... ruled ... nothing. Except ... nothing. Including ... a ... noob. He ... deershanked ... energy-legs ... resulting ... in ... Vietnamese ... rats ... swarming ... him.

Finish it yourself in the comment section. All 4 of you!


Tuesday, 10 March 2009

How To Stop Girls Rejecting You

If you're sitting at home, and you have time to watch the Goshdarn videos and read our blog posts, the likelihood is that you don't have a girlfriend. It sucks, as me and Sam both know.

But whilst checking the Goshdarn emails, a little ad popped up asking me if I wanted to know how to get girls to like me. How convenient!

The above link will tell you how to kiss a girl without being rejected. Apparently.

All I want to know is how did Google decide that this was a relevant ad to show me as I check my emails?

What's more, I just realised what a fantastic potential video this could be...


Sunday, 8 March 2009

Fantastic Response!

It's great to see people commenting on the new video, even if it's only like 7 comments at the moment!

I love the amount of people saying things like 'It's good to see you guys again!' and all that jazz, because it makes us feel like our efforts are appreciated. So thank you all.

Our next video is up here this Thursday, don't miss it for your life! I'm not actually sure which one it'll be, I need to speak to Sam about that, but who cares? They're all freakin' awesome!

So, in conclusion, thanks to everybody for making our comeback so worthwhile!


Thursday, 5 March 2009

New Video! Hoorah!

Howdy Folks! It's me! That loveable scamp, Sam!

Yup. I remembered to do this! All on my lonesome!

...I definately did not phone up Tom crying for help. Nope. No sir.

Anyway, enjoy. It's the Goshdarn Show!


Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Goshdarn are Gay

That's right, we're coming out, apparently.

Whilst looking through some old videos on YouTube - specifically 'In T3h W1ldeey' - I chuckled to myself at the hilarity of Goshdarn. But when the video ended, and the links to related videos appeared, I witnessed something that did NOT make me laugh. Well, it did a little. My exact thoughts were:

'This is going on the blog!'

And this is what it was...

'The Truth Is Out...I Admit I'm Gay'. On behalf of the world: WTF?! That's fine if this 11 year-old, or so he appears, is coming out. Good for him. Stop hiding from the world, man! But what has that got to do with our video? Let's find out...
The tags for this video are the following:
goshdarn, sam, walls, tom, rippon, wilderness, wildy, gangster, lost, runescape, tv, show
And the tags on his video are:
the, truth, is, out, I, admit, I'm gay, Hugh, admits, he's, xxgamingmazterxx
HOW ARE THESE RELATED?! Somebody, please tell me. I'm actually asking you people, comment and tell me! I'm genuinely confused. And not about my sexuality, ha ha, funny!
I just don't understand. What are the point in tags if they link to totally irrelevant videos...?
And what's more, why can't I go onto a new line when I'm writing this?!
The world is messed up...

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

This Thursday...

Sam was supposed to tell you all about this, but he hasn't yet, and time is ticking, so it's probably best that I let you know myself!

I'm currently sitting in my Media room, with Karen looking over my shoulder in anticipation. Jordan is stroking my face, but that's normal.

Anyway, as some of you may have noticed... IT'S FREAKIN' MARCH!

If you're a clever-clogs (unlike Karen) you may have realised that it's time for Goshdarn to release their first video of 2009!

It'll be on the website on Thursday the 5th of March, and YouTube on the Friday after. It's freakin' off the hook/wall etc.

It's about time that they're all released, so prepare for the most exciting and awesome six weeks of Goshdarn history!