Tuesday, 10 March 2009

How To Stop Girls Rejecting You

If you're sitting at home, and you have time to watch the Goshdarn videos and read our blog posts, the likelihood is that you don't have a girlfriend. It sucks, as me and Sam both know.

But whilst checking the Goshdarn emails, a little ad popped up asking me if I wanted to know how to get girls to like me. How convenient!


The above link will tell you how to kiss a girl without being rejected. Apparently.

All I want to know is how did Google decide that this was a relevant ad to show me as I check my emails?

What's more, I just realised what a fantastic potential video this could be...



Cooperweb said...

Upon inspection of the website, it requires a sign in even before their private policy link can be viewed and more importantly agreeing to terms and conditions "found here" but also inactive. And signing in encompasses an agreement to a newsletter and whatever the terms and conditions are. But ultimately they provide dating services.

And the kicker is, you must be 18 or older to sign in. The way I see it, if your 18 or older and need to know how to kiss a girl then it's time to consider a career in the seminary.

Besides, what more could one possibly need to know after they've seen "Goshdarn - The Girlfriend." Before I'm on the prowl, I always do the GD checklist of .. Ruin teeth, get fat and push your friends right over. Works every time.

Cooperweb said...

p.s. I emailed "you know who" today.

Fernando said...

You should be thankful for not having been born an octopus. Mating becomes difficult for them, not to mention that females are always problematic in all animal species. Women are like a sort of pleasant tumour, both indispensable and painful. But who could live without a pair of rounded and firm... of course, lips!?
My last girlfriend is - ok, was - a chef. She had wavy red hair... well, she did up until I saw her for a date we had planned at a restaurant. When I saw her, not only was her pretty hair gone, but her head was completely shaved! It turns out she had suddenly converted to Buddhism.
I respect all beliefs, but over time she began to have strange attitudes that I did not share, and then left me. Maybe it was just that my ‘overcoat’ was too immersed in Western philosophy and -more likely- I could never kiss her like Siddhartha or Richard Gere could... LOL
She has been travelling in Wachau, Austria since December, and I don’t know when she will return. However, our relationship is over. But loneliness is sometimes necessary for your mental health and to control the level of glucose produced by excess of honey in interface… I'm just kidding, loneliness is bad.
But I don't understand the point, Tom. Have you been rejected!? You can't get a girlfriend or you just don’t want to do? If you really want a girl, there is nothing stopping you. You don't stand a chance of being rejected, man!
You don't need any advice or self-help articles. Those things are useless. Tom and Sam, please don't be worry! Sorry, but are you serious? You really suffer from this?
Perhaps, you just need a little encouragement (that's normal). I don't think techniques to be a good kisser are effective -- and you don’t have braces! (This is good). When I was your age, I had a girl who bloodied my mouth with that equipment. After I kissed her, my tongue collapsed like a gladiator in a Roman circus, and Caesar always gave his thumb down!
Seriously, boys, you are both very spontaneous and have a great sense of humour… Tell me, what girl wouldn't want that!?

mirka said...

Haha Fernando- YoU RoCK!!!
ToM- i LoVe U!!! Want to be my BOYfriend! Lol